Evil Birthday Parties
by Callisto Firestarter
Summary: Mentions of YYS and more! Seto Kaiba is invited to Yugi Motou's birthday party. Strange? Hell yes. Mokuba goes with him. Poor, poor Kaiba-kun...


Disclaimer: I'm getting really tired of doing this. NO. OWN. YGO. If I did, Seto would be a whore and everyone would want a peice of his ass.

Calli: ... I'm proud of that disclaimer. ^_________^

SetoMuse: -.-U

Calli: I know I said everything was on a haitus bu-

SetoMuse: Actually, you only said Imperfect Perfection and San Ikunen Zenchou were. Doesn't mean you can't update everything else. -smirks-

Calli: Shut up, you're supposed to be happy taht I'm not updating those for awhile!!! Ahem, anyway! This is just plain RANDOM. I don't kno what I was on. Maybe it was the blueberry muffin. Damn that.

ENJOY IT! While it lasts. Muhahahaha. Don't forget to review!

Warnings: OOCness, humor, mentions of stalking, yaoi.

**12:56P.M ~ Kaiba Manor ~ Seto**

I put away the rolled up newspaper I had used to smack Yami repeatedly out of the window. Damn, that guy could get annoying. I need to have a talk with Yugi someday about his yami's... stalking antics. Someday, not now. Definitely NOT now.

STRESSSSS... DAMNIT, YAMI! GET AWAY FROM THE WINDOW!

Insert throwing a metal bat -- don't ask how I got it -- at the ex-Pharaoh. Insert sound affects of a body falling and thumping against the ground, then distant muttering and the rustling of clothing and leaves as the certain ex-pharaoh tried to climb up to the window again.

Doesn't he ever get tired or something???

STRESS... Twitch, twitch. Oops, there goes the eye again.

Ahem, yes. Anyway...

It was Yugi's birthday. Teà was setting up a birthday party for him. Friends would be invited, happiness and dancing and food. Ecstasy, and I'm not talking about the drug. Now, somehow, I got an invitation to this party. The damned piece of pink paper dropped right on my desk, will a miffed looking Teà standing over it. I had glanced at it, then at her, stopped my work, and asked what it was.

"A birthday invitation, for Yugi's birthday." She had said, bluntly. "You got invited."

She had gone soon after that, and I was left to stare at the evil pink… thing. Should I go?

Wait, since when does Yugi Motou invite Seto Kaiba to birthday parties? Since when does Seto Kaiba even THINK of going??? 

… …

Maybe if I don't answer that, my mind won't make me go. Maybe if I make Mokuba come with me, it won't seem as... strange...?

I sigh in frustration and smack my head with the nearest packet of paper. Shaking my head after that -- god-damn-it that hurt -- I take the pink invitation and rip it open. I throw the pink envelope with the to: and from: thing on it in the direction of the trashcan. No, I'm not usually this messy, I just feel like it today. Unfolding the paper, unfolding the paper.. Tralalalala...

Oh, how sweet, they even put a nice font. Vilvadi or something or another.

... Since when am I memorizing FONTS!? Damned Pegasus must have rubbed off on me. Damn that loony.

_You have been invited to Yugi Motou's birthday party! Lucky you._

Oh, god, this is already making me sick.

_Where: Game Shop  
When: This Saturday, 6:00P.M  
Bring: Presents, food, entertainment._

I looked at the calendar. Thursday.

I suppose I need to get him a present by Saturday... What could the shorty want that he can't afford? Hmm... Insert ponder pose and thinking.

"Watcha doin'?"

"KYA!!!" I jump out of the chair. Twitching slightly, I turn to face the giggling 12 year old.

"What's that?" The little brat takes the paper and reads over it. "Yugi invited YOU?? That's a... surprise."

"Oh shut it." Snatch.

Another giggle. "Seto, you obviously can't go by yourself!"

"What are you talking about??" I can't go by myself? What? What does he take me for? A freakin' hermit who doesn't know how to act around people?

"Seto, no offence, but you act like a freaking hermit who doesn't know how to act around people."

"..." DAMN YOU!

"SO~! As your angelic little brother," Yeah, RIGHT! "I'm going to help you pick out a present and make sure you don't make a fool out of yourself."

"Oh, thank you little brother." Twitch, twitch, TWEEEEK! There goes the eye, look at it GO kiddies!!

"And no more twitching, it makes you look like a psychopath." ... Oh, how I despise you.

"Did I mention how much I HATE you today?"

"Um, I think that's the seventh time since noon." Brat, brat, brat, BRAAAAT!!!! Twitch.

"Seto, stop twitching."

TWEEEK!!

Sound of rustling leaves and swearing from outside. Oh ecstasy...

"Eh? What was that?" Mokuba walked to the window. "Seto, why is Yugi's yami in our tree?"

"Mokuba, get down." He did so.

I threw the rolled up newspaper out the window into the tree.

"ITAI!" Thump.

Ahh, that felt strangely relieving. More so than firing people. Strange...

**1:00P.M. ~ Game Shop ~ Everyone**

"Yug', 'm lost. Why did ya invite Kaiba, again?" Jounochi flumped onto the couch, setting his feet on the coffee table and crossing them at the ankles.

The tri-color haired teen smiled at the blonde. "Because," He started. "Don't you think we should give Kaiba-kun a chance? I mean, he can't be our rival forever..."

Jounochi stared at him. "Yes, he CAN."

"Hey, I wouldn't be complaining, Jou." Honda grinned. "If you became friends with him, maybe he could get you some money to.. You know..." His eyebrows wiggled. "Date with Mai? Expensive, romantic, French restaurant?" Jou blushed.

Shizuka frowned. "It's awful for you to even think about that, Honda! I, for one, am glad that Yugi is inviting Kaiba-kun." She smiled at Yugi. Honda frowned.

"But Shizuka.." He started to wine. The girl shook her head.

"I agree with Yugi." Ryou stated. "It might be a good idea to let him come. After all, Mokuba would be coming with him anyways. Might as well enjoy his company." He sat down next to Jou.

"It wouldn't hurt, I guess." Honda nodded.

"I still think it's a bad idea for lettin' Kaiba come." Jounochi flipped on the T.V.

Malik humphed. Yeah, he had been invited too. Ryou had dragged him along. "Well, no one asked YOUR opinion, doggy." Bakura snickered, then continued to idly play with his pocketknife. Malik watched over his shoulder, letting out random 'Ooohh's and giggles.

Freaks, but we love them anyway.

"What is it with calling me a dog!?" Jou whined. "I dun act like one!"

The tan Egyptian shrugged. "It's still a good insult. After all, you are somewhat like a lackey, which makes you pretty much like a doggy trying to keep up with its master." Ryou frowned as Bakura started snickering again.

"Malik, that's not very nice."

"Ryou." Malik fixed the shy boy with a gaze. "I'm not a very nice person."

"Not to mention a very sane one, either." Bakura commented suddenly.

"HEY! Look who's talking!" Malik hit him over the head, snarling.

Insert random catfight between Malik and Bakura. Rawr. Hiss.

Shizuka stared at them. "Yugi, you have yet to tell me why you invited Malik and Bakura."

Yugi sweatdropped. "Urm, spur of the moment?"

"I see."

Ryou buried his face in his hands, while Jou and Honda patted his back sympathetically. "Why can't I have a normal yami?"

"ITAI!! WATCH THE HAIR, BAKA!" From Malik.

"Bite me!!!" From Bakura. Tug, tug tug.

***CHOMP***

"I DIDN'T MEAN THAT LITERALLY!!!" Bakura pulled back his bitten hand, blood trickling from the teeth indentions Malik had made. He recoiled as the said person snapped his jaws warningly.

Continue catfight.

"I think that explains it." Honda replied, continuing to pat Ryou's back. Ryou sighed.

"..." Jou was silent for a moment, then. "I BET ON 'LIK!"

"No way!" Honda shouted. "You see Bakura's technique? No way Malik's going to win against that!"

Start random betting, resembling the way you would bet on horses in a rally.

"C'mon, 'lik! Beat 'is ass!!"

"You can do it Bakura!"

Ryou sighed again, slumping in his chair. "Why me?"

Shizuka glanced around the room. "Yugi, where's Yami?"

"Stalking poor Kaiba-kun." Yugi replied, not really focusing on what he was saying. He was more interested in the catfight between the two phsycopaths, anyway. He was betting for Malik.

"WHAT!?" Poor Shizuka, here comes that heart attack! 3...2...

Yugi caught himself. "Nothin', I didn't say nothin'."

Saved poor Shizuka's heart right in time, Yugi! Great job!

**~TBC... Or not.~**

Calli: Like I said, RANDOMNESS.

SetoMuse: -twitch- Baka. Why am I here again?

Calli: Because without you I'm lonely. ;_;

SetoMuse: -.-U

FLAMES SHALL BE USED TO KEEP ME WARM AT NIGHT. Rawr.

REVIEW! You know you want to.


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